A 5 year old hackberry tree at the home of Bruce Ringo was tragically cut down yesterday as neighbors stood by and watched. Ringo justified his action, saying “I just decided I didn’t want a hackberry tree. They’re ugly and everyone made fun of it. I want something pretty, like a dogwood.”
In addition, several saplings of the hackberry are missing and presumed dead.
Ringo’s action brought quiet criticism from surrounding plants. “We’re all pretty worried right now,” whispered a nearby holly bush. “What if I don’t put out many berries this year; am I next? And did you see the neighbors? They just watched and joked around. We’re all likely to get yellow-leaf stress.” Monkey grass was somewhat more bold, “Just let him try and get me. I mean I’ve got roots everywhere.”
The hackberry leaves behind 2 squirrel families and a robin’s nest. Local dogs mourned its demise as well - it was a well-known message center. In lieu of cut flowers, memorials may be made to the National Arbor Day Foundation.