The band Anthrax may have been only joking about changing their name to Basket Full of Puppies, but they just might be on to something - the market for depressed and angry music has declined to its lowest level in recording history.
Tower Records reports that sales of metal have declined 75%, industrial music is down 90%, and not a single Goth CD has been sold since September 11 (the spokesman declined to comment on when the last Goth sale before September 11 occurred).
Noted psychologist James Ervin explains "Well, the primary market for this music has always been adolescents with comfortable middle- and upper-class lives - i.e., those who lack any genuine reasons to be depressed and angry, other than simply being adolescents. Now that the real world is providing them with their necessary minimum daily requirement of angst, they no longer need to seek it through music."
In related news, various volumes of the 70's compilation series "Have a Nice Day", featuring such harmless songs as "Brand New Key" and "Afternoon Delight", have taken 8 of the top 10 slots on the Billboard charts.