Smokers were dealt a surprising blow yesterday when the National Cancer Institute announced that low-tar cigarettes are unhealthy. They had been similarly shocked to learn in past years of the dangers associated with regular cigarettes.
"When I heard that smoking cigarettes might cause health problems, I switched from Chesterfield Kings to Merit Ultra Lights," said longtime smoker Brianna Jordan. "It was hard enough to see anything wrong with smoking regular cigarettes - who'd have expected that slightly reducing the most dangerous ingredient wouldn't help?"
Jordan is now switching to marijuana. "It's obviously the tobacco that's the problem, I can't believe there's anything inherently unhealthy about intentionally inhaling smoke," she said as she took a drag by the front door of her office building.