Satan announced in a press conference this morning that, due to rising energy costs, Hell will be lowering its thermostats.
"Now, there's no immediate concern that we'll have a freeze," she said. "We've been stockpiling Internet investors and gangsta rappers for burning, and are prepared to call in a few 60's rock stars who, quite frankly, should have joined us quite a while ago."
Asked if she would be able to maintain the temperature in Hell should the Red Sox and Cubs meet in the World Series, Satan quickly called the press conference to a close.