In a surprise visit from Above, Moses, David, and Saints Paul, Matthew, Mark and John descended on the United States Patent & Trademark Office. Insiders at the office said they seemed to be researching their options in preparation for a legal battle over the use of the name Bible.
"I overheard David telling the others that they needed to find everyone who is using Bible in their book titles. I think they intend to sue them all!" said an employee who asked to remain anonymous. Another employee agreed, saying "I think it was St. Paul who said something about the Apocalypse not being cheap and they needed to raise as much capital as possible."
In a press conference Moses, spokesman for the group, would only say that they were doing the legwork for their friends Solomon and Luke. "They are busy preparing for a great trial. We are just gathering information at this point." Solomon is thought to be the legal counsel for the authors of the Old Testament, while Luke represents the New Testament authors. When asked by reporters if their visit had anything to do with rumors of an Apocalypse, Moses would neither confirm nor deny it.
Biblical experts seem to think that The Apocalypse may be more difficult (and therefore expensive) in the 21st century. "They were using a 1st century model when they wrote Revelation, I don't think anyone knew how advanced civilization would get. They certainly never considered underground bunkers, pesticides or even asbestos in their budget," a spokesman for the Oral Roberts School of Prophecy said. Legal experts contend that if the authors are successful with their assertion of prima facie (first use) then damages could total in the billions of dollars. "Everyone has written a 'Bible' these days; there's a Bartender's Bible, a Poisonwood Bible, and who knows how many computer-related Bibles. The liability implications are huge," remarked the attorney for a leading publisher of software titles.